New Year's Resolutions

In the medieval era, knights took the ‘peacock vow’ at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry. The ancient Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts.

New Year’s resolutions have evolved considerably since then. Today’s vows include gems such as I will do less laundry and use more deodorant (very green) and I will assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing. They also include the usual standbys such I will lose weight, I will stop smoking and I will give world peace a chance, but with nearly 90 per cent of all New Year’s resolutions failing, all but the first two pledges stand little chance of success.

The problem with New Year’s resolutions, besides the fact that alcohol is usually involved when the promises are made, is that people tend to think too big and then get discouraged when they can’t follow through. Instead of the vague ‘lose weight,’ try specific goals like losing five pounds a month. Instead of world peace, try getting along with your noisy (or nosy, as the case may be) neighbor. And instead of quitting smoking? Nah, that’s a good one. Do it.

I have a few resolutions I’m working on and I’m determined to follow through.

1. Get in better shape. I was doing all right in 2012 before the knee went on me but one surgery later I’m ready to try again. I promise to watch what I eat and especially when I eat it and I promise to make the ‘Y’ part of my routine again.
2. Write more. I started this blog thing, so that’s a start. More effort on my book would help and more paid gigs would be nice too.
3. Become more technology proficient. For a guy who spends as much time on the computer as I do I am surprisingly challenged in this department. Time to change that.
4. Get a tat. Yah, I know, I’m a little old to be getting my first tattoo but I’m getting one anyway. But I have to earn this one.
5. Take Jake to Disney World. At 10 years old he can still feel the magic of the mouse’s kingdom so now’s the time.
6. Move to better digs. I need a bigger place but that takes more money so…
7. Get a better job. It’s hard to believe there are jobs out there more exciting and profitable than property maintenance but I know there’s one for me. Time to find it.
8. Meet more women. Find love. (sigh) Maybe I have to take the ‘peacock vow’ to make that work. Chivalry is not dead, damnit.

And I won’t forget the ancient Babylonians, except that’s for my friends, not me. Colin, I want my $20.  You can keep the shovel.